Shorts are a sartorial blind spot for me. They're the last thing I look at in a store, and the one piece I buy because I need to and not because I fell in love with it. There's some golden ratio of shorts—perfect length, not too tight—that I've found is hard to achieve. I'm thankful for fashion's recent embrace of culottes and the "long short," because it makes things much easier for me, with more options for style and shape. Maybe that's it. Maybe shorts just bore me.
So what happens when you hate every pair of shorts in your closet? You raid your partner's closet, take out a pair of his too-big-for-you shorts, and you Commes des Garçon that shit. Fold over the excess in the back, pin it, and get your couture droopy butt on. Then you pair it with a kimono top you picked up at Forever21 when 21 seemed forever away.